Bella books a wedding 2 weeks before her 26-year-old cousin’s despite not being engaged, turning Thanksgiving into a showcase of jealousy: ‘She’s not even engaged. She put a deposit down on a wedding venue exactly fifteen days before mine’

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  • Two women sit together outdoors. The woman on the right is smiling brightly as she shows off a ring on her finger, clearly excited. The woman on the left looks directly at the camera with a tense, unhappy, or jealous expression, contrasting sharply with her friend’s enthusiasm.
  • Hi Reddit. Looking for some comfort and maybe advice from people outside my family. I'm 26 and got engaged in February to my high school sweetheart.
  • We've been together for years and we're getting married on August 15, 2026. We haven't sent save the dates yet, but everyone knows the date, my parents already put down deposits, and our families have booked Airbnbs and hotels.
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  • This has been set and known for months. Quick context about my cousin "Bella" (not her real name).
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  • She's a year younger than me and has always been a little tone- deaf and borderline invasive.
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  • She'll flat-out ask things like how much I make, or in my case how much my wedding budget is and how much my parents are helping.
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  • We've never had a fight and I just always wrote it off as her being nosey without shame.
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  • Two women sit together outdoors, sharing an excited moment. The woman on the right is smiling warmly as she shows off a ring on her finger. The woman on the left reacts with wide-eyed surprise, her mouth open in an enthusiastic gasp, clearly thrilled by the news.
  • Now that you have a bit of context, here's what happened on Thanksgiving. This was the first Thanksgiving since both my grandparents passed, so emotions were already high.
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  • It was also the first Thanksgiving my parents hosted, which is a huge deal in my family.
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  • My dad got "the turkey carving knife" which in our world is like officially receiving the Thanksgiving torch.
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  • It was also the first time I was seeing my whole extended family since getting engaged.
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  • I was excited and nervous because I knew there would be lots of wedding questions, so I came prepared.
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  • Bella was one of the first to arrive. She immediately pulled me aside asking about my dress, vendors, colors, venue, and even pricing.
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  • I was excited and showed her my dress. She seemed super interested, almost overly invested. She has always made it very clear that she wants to be married, and sometimes it even feels like it's the only reason she's still with her boyfriend of five years.
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  • Then she drops it on me. She put a deposit down on a wedding venue. She's not even engaged.
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  • And her wedding date is July 31, 2026. Exactly fifteen days before mine. She told me "It's fine, it's not in August." But in my head I was thinking it literally couldn't be any closer.
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  • It's not the same venue as mine, but she has been using things I've told her against me.
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  • When I offered to help, she said "I don't want a banquet hall like you" which instantly made me insecure because yes, mine has banquet hall elements.
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  • When I asked about her ring, I suggested my jeweler, and she said "No, I want an ethical ring" while looking directly at mine.
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  • I didn't even pick my ring, I was just happy and surprised to be engaged. She's not planning to have alcohol at her wedding and told family "We can just party at "my" wedding two weeks later." No, absolutely not.
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  • You don't get to borrow my wedding as your after-party. The worst part was the moment everyone started finding out.
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  • You could literally see people look at me, then look at her, then whisper. Some people were confused, some gave me that awkward sympathetic smile, and she just kept smiling like nothing was weird.
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  • She keeps telling people I'm totally fine with it, which never said. I honestly feel blindsided and taken advantage of.
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  • I feel like she keeps asking questions not because she values my advice, but because she wants to copy or get ahead.
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  • I already felt the pressure of planning a wedding, and now I feel overshadowed before my wedding has even happened.
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  • I don't want to start drama or be petty, but I also don't want to feel like I'm being walked over.
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  • I'm mostly just looking for some comfort or perspective from people who aren't emotionally tied to this.
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  • Has anyone been through something like this? How do I protect my excitement without turning it into a family war?
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  • Any comfort or insight would be really appreciated.
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